The Fallen~Sparrow~Hawk; Al Fresco

Al Fresco                                                     March 4, 2002

Building the fire to heat up the bath was a meditation. From dubious kindling to ineffective smoke pile to licking flames to furnace and embers; the whole progression took at least an hour or so. I’m not imbued with patience, and here, haste can seriously mess things up. You have to let things take their own course, almost placate the spirits as it were. After a time of careful building and stoking, the water was almost piping hot, so hot I had to add some cold. In order to prevent burning myself against the sides of the bath I threw a quilt in and in and lay on the water-absorbed duvet.

There it was; ‘C’ for Cold and ‘H’ for Hot, both taps disconnected, beyond a 3-D wallpaper depicting wooded scenery complete with birds and sound effects. I recognised the absurdity of it; not that far away was a clear freshwater Loch in which it would have been more natural to bathe. And there was me, basking in a household object without a house! It’s totally decadent, like servants carrying a dinner table and chairs to the top of a mountain and serving a black-tie dinner al fresco. I was tempted to bring the wind-up radio and listen to Radio 4 while reading the Guardian; one for the photo album! Instead I toasted myself my good fortune, love, nature and their respective shadows and then sipped Yarrow Wine.

I’ve found some cambucha, a very potent health drink based on a Chinese fungal fermentation. It is the reason, in some villages throughout China, for longevity. This one has been fermenting for some time; it’s got that fizz.

Mark wants to come up to Glasgow on the 13^th. Though I want to see him, I can’t afford to stay in a hotel in Glasgow. Maybe he can book a few nights. It would be cheaper to come back here. We would not have the privacy as I am not yet in a bender. It would be lovely to see him and have loads of sex and go out. The life here might be too much of a shock; I must think of what he needs. If he came here he might get a sense of exhilaration. In Glasgow we’ll probably go to gay bars and party and fall into bed drunk. I can’t afford Glasgow. I have £40 for the rent, £40 for Alison and Brett plus….Leaving me with £200 to pay Ben and Jo’s phone bill. I can ask him if he prefers town or country. I wanted to go out on the razz now I can do that with him. I’ll ask him to look up gay hotels to stay at for around £40 a night.